Hey everyone, how are you?
I’m in a really bad head space currently and I don’t know when things are going to feel normal again.
As I write this I think about how strange yesterday was and how one thing can change your whole outlook. Yesterday a family member died. They had been on end of life care for a couple of weeks. I am absolutely devastated about it. And although I am pleased that they are no longer in any pain or anything like that, I am very sad that they are no longer here. My friends no family are all very supportive and I am very pleased so have such great people around me. I also let my mental health team know as I just feel numb and am disassociating a lot. I don’t know if I am going to be able to sleep tonight or whether my mind will be too active. I did try to have a nap yesterday because I was tired but I could not drift off to sleep.
Today, I have a appointment with my doctor. He knew that I had a family member who was on end of life care. The appointment is for my mental health, to check in on how things are. It will be good to talk to my doctor and get a professional perspective on things. I also need to ask for a blood test and I am constantly reminding myself so that I do not forget to ask. Aside from speaking to my doctor I don’t know what I am going to do for the rest of the day. Things are just a blur at the moment.
Thank you for reading and I hope that you have a good day.