Hey everyone, how are you?
Sorry that there was not a proper blog post yesterday. I just needed some time to get my head together.
There is no time limits on grief, it takes as long as it takes. And when, like me, you’ve had a lot of deaths in a year it is easy to feel completely numb. I spent the night in The Haven, where I was around mental health professionals who I could talk to and collect my thoughts. The night was good, although I found it hard to sleep and had to have a sleeping tablet. And throughout the time there I was able to talk to the nurses. They were all great as always. In the morning, I thought about staying a little longer, but I realised that I needed to be home with my mum. So I left The Haven, around nine am. Whilst I was in The Haven, I spoke to my doctor as we had a telephone appointment. There is not a lot he can do except be there and he has said that if I need to I can call in and book an appointment sooner than out next scheduled one.
Since being home from The Haven, I have just slept because of the left over sleeping tablet in my system. But over the weekend, I am not going to commit myself to doing certain things or producing a certain amount of writing. I am just taking everything minute by minute and everything as it comes. I just want to relax and give myself some time to heal and recover. Sometimes I throw myself into my writing and projects, but so far that has not happened this time. I feel as though I could be hit with a bat and not feel it. I guess this is just a normal stage of grief. The one thing that I can do although I don’t think I will need to do, is to go back to The Haven. I have been told this by the staff there and it is a relief to know that I have a place to go if I need to (and if there is space). But I will only use it as a last result. I want to spend time at home and be with family as this is a time when we need to stick together.
Thank you for reading and I hope that you have a good day.